


Thawing: Candlenights Edition

by qanterqueen



Series: Thawing [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: happy candlenights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-21 22:39:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13153494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qanterqueen/pseuds/qanterqueen
Summary: Off-shoot of Thawing-- a lovely Candlenights edition!





	Thawing: Candlenights Edition

“‘Twas the night before Candlenights, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a Boy Detective.”

“…Sir? I’m, uh, pretty sure it’s a mouse.”

Taako lowered his book and glared directly into the eyes of Angus. It was definitely a threat. “This is a remix. Taako original.”

“I… um,  okay.”

Magnus nodded and looked at Angus. “He’s right. I’ve heard this one before.”

Angus really,  _really_  doubted that. But he kept his mouth shut.

It wasn’t often that Taako was in such a good mood, and Angus was pretty sure he’d never seen Taako like  _this_.

The cheery smile, the nice perfume, the expensive earrings…

Though, of course, the biggest surprise was the  _horrendous_  Candlenights sweater he wore, complete with flashing lights and an enchanted fire moving in the fireplace drawn onto it.

Of course, the party was actually an ugly Candlenights sweater party, and just about everyone (with the exception of Kravitz, whose sweater was so ugly and complex, courtesy of Lup, he apparently couldn’t even figure out how to put it on and was instead wearing a tamer ugly sweater) was wearing something terrible. All of the sweaters were made by Lup and Carey, who had spent a week sewing and knitting the atrocities.

Magnus loved his sweater with all of his heart, and he made sure to let Carey and Lup know many times. Barry wore his with a smile (mostly because his said “Lup’s Bitch” in glitter on the back, which matched the back of Lup’s sweater, which read “Barry’s Bitch”), and Killian just seemed happy to have a sweater that fit her and her muscles. Davenport and Merle had on matching sweaters that both had “DADDY” spelled out in pom-poms. Lucretia’s sweater was the loudest and most colorful (Lup made sure of that). Even the people that would pop in at times– Avi and Leon and some people that Angus didn’t know– had their own sweaters thrust upon them at the door. It was the price for entry.

Angus had thought that Taako was above wearing something so downright  _awful_. Apparently he was wrong.

He was flaunting it to his very best ability, making sure to check that it was still flashing and on fire every five minutes. Despite how gods-awful the sweater was, it was pretty nice to see Taako this happy.

“Now, where was I, before I got  _rudely_  interrupted?”

“The second sentence, sir.”

“Smart boy.” Taako cleared his throat and started up again.

Magnus’s apartment was in full Candlenights swing, completed with Taako sitting on a wooden rocking chair in the living room and reading aloud from a child’s Candlenights book. The place was decorated with red, green, blue, and yellow– it looked a lot like a birthday party at first glance. But the signs and decorations around the rooms proudly displayed messages of Candlenights cheer, most commonly “A Cheery Candlenights To All!”. A candle smelling of apple pie filled the entire home, and quiet Candlenights tunes played in the background on stereo speakers.

Everyone was waiting for dinner, and despite how long it was taking no one seemed to mind. Magnus, Carey, and Killian were all sat on the floor in front of Taako, swathed in blankets as they listened to his stories. Lup was downing champaign like water and idly talking to Lucretia, the both of them curled on the couch (Lup was trying her hardest to get Lucretia to drink, and would not back down once she heard Lucretia’s false excuse of “I have work later!”). Merle and Davenport were sat at the coffee table, talking and cutting out paper snowflakes that Lup would magic onto the ceiling every so often.

Not only was everyone too absorbed in their own activities to mind dinner, but no one was particularly  _eager_  to eat, anyway.

Lup and Taako had devised an insidious plan. Angus couldn’t tell if they thought it would genuinely be okay.

Due to the fact that Lup had “worked tirelessly” over the sweaters and Taako spent most of his effort (as in, two seconds and a flick of his wand,) decorating, they decided that their respective beaus would be the ones to make dinner.

From the kitchen, the sound of a pan crashing to the floor could be heard over the Candlenights music. No one said anything or acknowledged it.

Angus wanted to go over and help, but he know he wasn’t that good at cooking, either. But… well, maybe he couldn’t be any worse than those two.

-

“I’ve read this three times and I still don’t know where to use the turkey baster.”

Kravitz hummed thoughtfully. He was bent over and leaning on the counter with Barry, and he had been for ten minutes, but he couldn’t find anything, either. The cookbook in front of them was Taako’s personal copy, previously long forgotten and abandoned on the Star Blaster. It was extremely fancy– Kravitz knew this due to the lack of pictures on it– and extremely well used. Notes in Taako’s elegant handwriting were scrawled all over the page.

They suggested alterations, or spells to use or how to plate the finished product.

The notes would be extremely helpful if Kravitz or Barry could  _read_  them.

They were all jumbled together and overlapping the typed words on the page, and both chefs knew that were they to ask either of the twins, they would be kicked out of the kitchen immediately.

And, of course, both chefs wanted to do  _something_  useful and good. Cooking dinner for a significant other was a sweet gesture, but it became immensely difficult when said significant other was an amazing cook and very particular.

Kravitz had little to no skill in cooking. When he was alive he could have made enough to sustain him, but he knew better than to feed his cooking to anyone else. If he was home alone with nothing easy to cook, he’d eat the fresh food from the farm and call it a day.

Over time and once he died, what little skill he had in cooking diminished.

Barry, Kravitz saw, had at least  _some_  understanding at cooking. Or… well, he knew where the turkey was, and that was more than Kravitz could say for himself.

“I guess… we don’t use it?” Kravitz mused, delicately lifting up the page and looking at what was underneath it. More instructions, but he was pretty sure that was for a different dish altogether. He let the page fall.

“But… it seems important.” Barry said, then shrugged and pushed himself from the counter. “Well, okay. We don’t use it.”

That sounded completely wrong to Kravitz, and Barry didn’t sound too confident (to be fair, he never did), but neither of them had any better guess.

Kravitz straightened himself, looking at the turkey that sat on the counter. There were some spices in cans that sat behind it that Taako had set out for them, but besides that there was no real instruction from anyone other than  _make_   _it_. Magnus made mashed potatoes, Lucretia made two pies, Carey had some vegetable dish, and Killian made cookies. Barry and Kravitz were tasked with the turkey and left alone.

“I think we’re supposed to tear it open.” Barry moved to the turkey and put a hand on it. “I once saw someone do that… somewhere.”

Brilliant.

“Go ahead.” Kravitz replied, turning back to the cookbook. “I’ll start on the… spice…?”

There was some sort of spice or sauce or  _something_  that was supposed to be made. Kravitz had no idea, but he didn’t think throwing the turkey in raw was correct.

“There’s spice?” Barry looked at him feebly.

This wasn’t going to go well.

-

“I have an idea.”

Kravitz paused, his cupped hand holding at least two tablespoons of cinnamon, and looked at Barry.

Barry was in the middle of literally tearing the turkey apart– bones laid on the table and only some of them had meat on them.

But he had apparently paused from his work, and now he held up what looked to be an extremely fancy bottle of wine.

Kravitz hadn’t gotten drunk since he was alive, though he’d had wine. Though the concern wasn’t if  _he_  got drunk.

“Barry, we shouldn’t be drinking while cooking.”

“We’ll get inspiration!”

Well, Kravitz  _had_  recently downed two teaspoons of cayenne pepper flakes. He didn’t have too much of a fight to put up against that logic.

Kravitz had tried to make the spice according to what notes he could read– and one of them had said to add cayenne “to taste”. So he had tipped some powder into his hand and attempted to see how much was too much.

Today was a wonderful day, full of Candlenights cheer and good feelings all around. But for some reason he couldn’t taste the spice.

He tried to eat basil, garlic powder, cumin, and even Italian seasoning for a pizza. Each spice tasted like nothing, and to his annoyance he noticed that today, for whatever reason, he could not taste.

Maybe it was because of all of the people here. Maybe it was because he was “fitting in too well for a reaper”. Maybe it was because it was his first Candlenights celebration since he had died.

Whatever the reason was, he didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to acknowledge it, or resolve it, or talk about it. He just wanted to spend the day with his friends– his  _family_ – and act– no,  _be_  a person.

So no, he did not put too much effort into refusing wine.

“Only a little.”

Barry grinned and pulled two wine glasses from a cabinet (his dirty gloves touched the handle and Kravitz was sure he could hear Magnus’s  _soul_  gasp from the other room). He was not generous in pouring the two glasses out. All the better, in Kravitz’s opinion.

He wasn’t looking to get drunk, just… more relaxed. If that was possible.

Barry took a sip of his own glass before setting back to work. Kravitz made sure to take several large gulps– which felt like breathing air– before returning back to his spices.

When he tried to test the cinnamon in his hand, it still tasted of nothing. Kravitz dumped the whole handful in the bowl in front of him.

It was definitely wrong and not in any way going to taste good, but it’s not like Kravitz could tell either way.

-

“A-And then she– she was like,  _I was gonna do that_ , an’– and  _she_  pulls out a ring!”

Kravitz put the back of his hand to his mouth, trying to muffle his laughter. If he laughed any more, his spices would just fly all over the damn place (they had already, once).

“And it was so beautiful! But we were just two idiots– sittin’– kneelin’ in the middle of the damn beach! We looked so stupid!”

“It sounds…  _sweet_.” Kravitz forced through his smile, and Barry laughed. A bone cracked under his hands.

“It was  _miserable_. I wanted to set it all up and have it be  _fancy_. She one-upped my ring, too.”

“At least you were on a beach…?”

Kravitz still really had no idea how to propose to anybody. He should probably look that up.

“Yeah, I guess.”

-

There was something odd to Barry about cooking with Kravtiz.

There were multiple factors of it– He threw things together like they were nothing, and he was supposed to be this super powerful guy but he couldn’t find the  _salt_  shaker. Also, Kravitz was  _Taako’s_   _boyfriend_ , and he was useless in the kitchen.

That wasn’t even a stretch to say. Kravitz was Barry’s boss, and Barry honestly liked him, but  _shit_  he was terrible.

“I’m… There’s– it’s not liquid.” Kravitz announced, and he held up a bowl full of powders and stared at it in confusion. He looked back and forth between the bowl and the cookbook a few times, then added, “It’s  _supposed_  to be liquid.”

Barry couldn’t stop from laughing. “Well then  _make_  it a liquid!”

The reaper looked at him and Barry smiled back, more than amused at the fact that Kravitz’s face was slightly red in the cheeks. “I’m not so good at transmutation.”

“Oh, gods– c’mere.” Barry took the bowl from his hands and put it under the sink, filling it with water until the spices were floating. Kravitz watched and took the bowl from him once it was filled. “Now just  _stir_  it, or somethin’.”

The moment Kravitz grabbed a spatula and started stirring the spices, Barry knew, deep down in his soul, that it was absolutely the wrong thing to do. But, Gods bless him, Kravitz started stirring the mixture with a spatula and some effort.

He was trying, and he was trying very hard, and it was kinda sweet to see.

Barry never quite thought of Kravitz as  _Taako’s boyfriend_. Kravitz was, essentially, the Grim Reaper, but above all he was Barry’s boss. He was the one Barry reported to, he was the one that Barry was afraid of whenever he failed a mission (Kravitz never got angry at him, but it was still just terrifying in general for Barry to tell someone he failed).

Barry had seen Kravitz vault over buildings with no problem. He’d seen Kravitz fight enemies that Barry could never even get  _close_  to. Barry has had to use nearly all of his energy just to keep up with Kravitz after he’d seen a target.

Barry often forgot that Kravitz was just a soul– his body was optional and his form was purely fabricated. But Barry never really got the option to forget that Kravitz was  _powerful_  beyond belief.

Seeing Kravitz while he wasn’t working was just  _odd_. They’d pass each other in the halls, or Barry would see him leaving to go somewhere with Taako, and it’d be almost awkward.

Barry supposed some of it was his own fault. He shouldn’t doubt Kravitz so much, and he shouldn’t be as surprised to see him doing mundane things.

But he was surprised. He did doubt Kravitz. He’d studied reapers before, and they typically didn’t have lives.

Kravitz did. He had a life, he had a family, and he had a boyfriend.

He had a boyfriend that he was in love with. He had a boyfriend that he was fucking up a recipe for.

It was just… cool to see, is all.

“Barry, can you test this?” Kravitz suddenly turned to him, holding out the bowl.

Barry out down the turkey leg he was in the middle of cracking and removed one of his gloves. “Have you been following the recipe?”

Kravitz glanced at the book before decidedly replying, “Uh, no. Not at all. I tried, though.”

Barry took one sip of the mixture with the spatula and nearly coughed it up on the floor. It was  _awful_. “Yeah, I can tell. That’s  _terrible_ , Kravitz.”

Kravitz looked at the mixture for a few seconds before sighing, turning, and putting it back on the counter. He picked up his wine glass and proceeded to take a very,  _very_  long drink.

This was going to get interesting.

-

Kravitz was… not drunk.

He was sure getting there. But he wasn’t drunk.

It… he just–  _anybody_  could have accidentally boiled the carrots.

“Kravitz, you had– you literally had to  _take out the bowl_ –”

“I know!”

“ _Fill it with water_ –”

“Listen,” The two of them were nearly keeled over laughing, and to be fair it  _was_  pretty funny. “I mis _read_  it, anybody could have!”

“It– you weren’t even on the right page!”

The both of them weren’t  _drunk_. Just getting there.

The “sauce” was done and tasted terrible, though Kravitz had no idea what to do about it. Barry was still ripping into the turkey and was frankly making a mess of it.

The turkey had probably been expensive. Everyone was waiting, and it had been at least two hours, and it all so far tasted and looked like shit.

The wine was helping with dulling the desperation and urgency of the situation.

-

“Jason– maybe Johnathan– Fuck is an  _asshole_.”

Barry snickered. “Is his name  _really_  Johnathan Fuck?”

“Yes.” Kravitz said with certainty, burrowing his head further into his arms. His sweater was very cozy. He liked it a lot. He’s gonna give Lup a raise. “He’s an  _asshole_.”

“Why’s that?”

“Mmm. He makes loud things.” Kravitz looked at his wine glass thoughtfully. It was full again. When did it get full? He’s got a magic glass, it seemed. “Double forte meant  _nothing_  to him. He was a menace.”

Barry nodded sagely. “Did you reap his soul, then?”

“No.” To his annoyance, he did not. “Fucker is still on the run. I think his soul is cursed, or something.” Kravitz  had tried. He had tried so damn hard for so damn long. But every time he got close to Fuck,  _Flight of the Gladiators_  would play and stun Kravitz’s soul momentarily. It was beyond frustrating.

-

Three hours passed and Taako was pretty sure that the oven wasn’t even  _on_.

He had tried to stay out of the kitchen– it was  _romantic_  for Kravitz to make dinner– but could he actually take it anymore? He could  _smell_  the raw turkey from where he was sitting, and he was also pretty sure the oven wasn’t on.

It had been approximately three hours since Kravitz and Barry disappeared into the kitchen. Things  _couldn’t_  have been going well.

“Hey, Lup?” Taako called across the room. Lup perked and looked at him– he pointedly ignored Lucretia’s eyes on him– and he jerked his head to the kitchen.

-

“Do you even  _know_  what– like– have you ever  _wondered_?”

Kravitz shrugged. “I’ve never– I mean, no? How could I figure it out, anyway?”

“I dunno. Cut yourself open?”

Kravitz watched Barry crack more turkey bones (he was still at it. He was definitely wrong, and had definitely overdone it, but at this point he continued because the crunching sound was nice to him) and decided that this was a very horrible conversation to have with Barry. “I can feel pain, Barry.”

“Well, I mean, if your body is a  _construct_ –”

“Krav’s body is a goddamn  _snack_  and if you tamper with it I’ll disown you.”

Kravitz’s lips curled into a smile and he looked up at his lovely boyfriend, who apparently materialized out of thin air alongside his sister. Taako was grinning down at him. It was a very nice grin, Kravitz decided.

“You good, my man?” Taako asked, running tapping, lithe fingers up Kravitz’s back.

Holy shit. “I am  _entirely_  good.” Kravitz mumbled, and Taako laughed.

“Well, okay. Damn.”

“Gross.” Lup called loudly, even though Barry was looking at her in amazement as well.

“Jealousy is a bitch.” Taako shot back.

“What’s a  _bitch_  is whatever’s happening here.” She moved forward and stood next to Barry, looking at the pile of broken turkey and bones. “Barold, I love you to death and back, but what the  _hell_  are you doing?”

“I– uh–” He blinked a few times and looked at the pile in front of them. “Um… It– I  _was_  trying to…  uh…”

“Alright, cool, I’ll stop you there.” Lup said, looking around the kitchen. Something caught her eye, but Taako beat her to it.

“Well!” He moved from Kravitz’s side and grabbed the nearly empty bottle of wine from the counter. “Gettin’ a little help, huh?”

“Absolutely. Love, you gave us chicken scratch.” Kravitz said, a little indignant, but Taako simply laughed again.

Lup snickered as well, patting Barry on the shoulder before going over to the open cookbook on the counter. Taako took a swig of the wine before standing beside her.

“How can you not read this?” Taako asked, and Lup nodded.

“Perfectly pristine.”

Kravitz and Barry looked at each other, both incredibly nonplussed.

“Babe, it’s– you and Taako–”

Lup turned around, the cookbook displayed and open in her hands.

The pen writing was gone. The book was colorful, and had pictures on the side showing a step-by-step process of preparing the turkey.

It looked brand new.

The twins took one look at the two looks of shock and confusion and immediately started laughing.

“Did you– did you  _actually think_ –” Lup hung off of her brother, both of them trying to support each other as they cackled. Kravitz was maybe a little too drunk to understand.

“The turkey is in the  _fridge_.” Taako hollered, and Barry immediately raced to the fridge. “Did you think we’d  _actually_ –”

“You–  _Taako_ –” Barry turned and glared at the twins. The fridge door hung open and a beautifully done, cooked with what looked like the Taaco Family Flair, judging by the unnecessary mistletoe garnish.

“A Cheery Candlenights to you, boys!” And the twins bowed arm in arm, laughter still in their eyes.

-

-

_Things get better._

(How many times had he heard this?

Sitting at his empty kitchen table, staring out the window.

The dust breathed around him. It was the only thing alive in the mansion.)

 _Things will get better_.

Taako patted his shoulder as he moved past, drawing his chair and sitting with enthusiasm. Lup laughed at him when he put the napkin in his shirt, and he snapped back that his shirt was very expensive and dear to his heart (as if Lup didn’t know that  _she_  made it).

Magnus passed the mashed potatoes to Davenport. Lucretia complimented the table spread. Merle dug into his food with a smile. Carey and Killian took a moment to pray– it was Killian’s tradition.

Kravitz wasn’t the praying type. He worked under the Raven Queen, who was technically a God, but he didn’t think it was quite the same thing as being religious.

So he wasn’t sure who was listening. He didn’t know if someone could hear him, or if someone could see him close his eyes for this brief moment, or if some god out there cared to tune in.

Perhaps he was simply saying  _thank you_  to himself.


End file.
